


Feet On The Ground Please

by Gemini_00



Series: Batfamily Shorts [43]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics), Son of Batman (2014)
Genre: Bat Family, Batfamily, Cage, Damian Wayne is a Brat, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, Gen, Humor, Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 12:03:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18475849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_00/pseuds/Gemini_00
Summary: Robin meant to get kidnapped.He did not mean to be shoved in some oversized bird cage with a wannabe Harley Quinn swinging a mallet at it.





	Feet On The Ground Please

Robin number five voluntarily allowed himself to be kidnapped by the idiots who were largely connected to even bigger idiots that were currently attempting to mimic the joker’s legends like killing a Robin. Of course, said freaks didn’t know what they were doing as they attempted to cause chaos. And so, Robin let himself be taken with that little tracker along his hairline that most people don’t consider to check for. Yeah, they took all of his gear minus the domino mask, but the idiots weren’t doing much except for arguing how to kill him.

 

The cage was something that Damian could do without.

 

“How did J kill Robin two?” The knock off Harley Quinn asked as they looked through the weapons along they’re table. Damian groaned in annoyance, which they mistakenly thought was fear, “He’s- smaller than I thought he would be.”

 

Apparently idiotic worship of a madman can only go so far.

 

“Gwen, stay focused. We have to be creative. Even better than the first time if we want to impress the big guy,” The man of the two stated. The two went back and forth arguing on the best way to kill him, the best way to get the Joker’s attention.

 

“So this is where your little cult of freaks gather to discuss?” Robin spoke loudly, drawing the attention back to him. The two stalked towards the gave, attempting to give the same air of crazy and sadistic that the Joker gave off. They couldn’t even come close to bringing that level of terror.

 

“What’s it to you, bird boy?” The woman snapped, pushing at the hanging enlarged birdcage. It caused Damian to stumble a bit at it rocked but not fall down completely.

 

“It’s a fairly smart location being as hidden as it is,” Damian nodded, “I’m surprised. Frankly, you all don’t scream evil genius.”

 

“We follow Mistah J,” the mimicked Harley voice sounded even more annoying coming from this imposter, “We followed all of his secrets. All of his ways. He knows the only way to last in Gotham is ta’ smile.”

 

“And killing what is legally considered a child causes you to smile?” Damian deadpanned. Notice that he used the term legally considered, because Damian Wayne is certainly not a child, “Oh you aren’t deranged at all, just stupid.”

 

“Watch it shrimp,” the man pushed at the cage, causing Damian to stumble again. At this point, Damian just chose to sit down if they wanted to shake their bird cage every ten seconds. 

 

“So I’m assuming whoever the leader of your little cult is… he or she is the one with the access to this place. Probably very under the radar… but not bright, otherwise he or she would realize that the joker is simply using them and has no use for this person.”

 

Damian ignored their snapping as he looked about the place. He couldn’t hear much of the Gotham traffic but faintly heard the train and some planes. He could hear the same noises in the manor… meaning this place meant money. If he didn’t only smell bleach then he could most likely figure it out even moreso. He was fairly certain that they were on  a second floor with very few windows. But the ceilings were high… there were a lot of chairs and a few little tables. A door wasn’t far behind him but there only seemed to be a little window there with no locks. There must’ve been a sticker if Damian is seeing right which he was, of course.

 

“Are we in a restaurant near Bristol street?” Robin interrupted the babbling idiots. They both shared a look as if they’ve been caught with their hand in the cookie jar… whatever that meant. Grayson said the phrase often enough.

 

The gun was trained on Robin within seconds, the trembling hand behind it. Still, Damian just stared at the two imbeciles.If his domino was off then they could see his deadpan look and quirked brow. Whatever, this kidnapping was simply a mission. There were more of these cult members somewhere and as idiotic as they may be there was still a large quantity of these idiots.

 

“Mistah J,” Damian used his own Harley Quinn voice, “will not be impressed if you kill me with a simple bullet to the head.”

 

“What about a hammer?” Harley wanna be grabbed her own mallet, striking at the cage. Damian slid to the other side from the force. His armor protected him from any harm of the slam. It took a few seconds for the cage to still again when Damian saw the flash of blue and black from the high ceilings. After that, he could feel the heavy presence that the Bat always carried with him.

 

“I wouldn’t waste your time with me,” Robin told them after seeing purple from what must be the kitchen window followed by that ridiculous Red Robin cowl. 

 

“Why not?” She asked, ready to strike the cage again.

 

“Because Harlot, I’m the youngest in my family unfortunately and though I don’t understand why people in general feel very protective over their young. My family is already upset with you for my capture… They hardly will appreciate your intent to harm me, as if you could…”

 

“Your family can suck it when they find your mangled body,” The man attempted to cackle like the joker. It sounded more like ho-ho-ho.

 

“Are you sure about that?” Damian grinned as the Bat dropped behind them. It was as if both of the realized how truly screwed (as Todd so eloquently taught Damian) they were.

 

The two idiots went after father like they actually thought they could win this. While Todd shot the gun out of the lackey’s hands. The mallet nearly hit father as the man attempted to chide the Red Hood. Grayson dropped down in front of the cage with the lock pick.

 

“What did we say about purposely getting kidnapped?” Grayson attempted to lecture.

 

“I believe that the leader of this cult is the man who owns this establishment. He is most likely trying to say that this former restaurant is going to be remodeled otherwise it would be questioned but-”

 

“Robin,” Grayson scolded. Oh yes, he was waiting for an answer for that ridiculous question as he attempted to work of that ridiculous lock.

 

Robin crossed his arms, “That purposely being taken even if my calculations and estimations prove that I’m not in any harm could still be harmful to my well being if I underestimate my opponent. Which I did not.”

 

“But you could have,” Grayson pointed out, still messing with the lock to no avail.

 

“Nightwing, as much as I enjoy your jouseling of my confinement… I’d appreciate having my feet on the floor now,” Damian complained as the man continued to become more aggressive with the lock. The criminals were now being apprehended by father and Todd.

 

“I can’t,” Nightwing dropped the pic.

 

“What do you mean you can’t?” Damian stood up in outrage, “The lock is right there so pick the damn lock.”

 

“I mean it’s welded shut,” Grayson complained before turning to their shared father. Spoiler and Red Robin emerged from the kitchen with files amongst files on the owner of the establishment and lack of plan on remodeling.

 

“Wait, you mean Demon Brat is stuck?” Todd laughed, “Robin is stuck in a bird cage. Am I the only one appreciating the Irony here?”

 

“Shut up, Todd,” Damian sneered, only to be interrupted by the hard shove that caused the small assassin to  fall on his butt. Drake’s laughing erupted loudly while Damian turned fast to lunge at the idiot only to be stopped by these stupid bars.

 

“Can we keep this?” Drake asked father, “Like for time out when he tries to kill me.”

 

“You mean succeed in killing you,” Damian threatened.

 

“Death threats earn at least five minutes in the cage,” Drake stared at father.

 

“We’re not keeping your brother in a cage,” Batman sighed at the two, “Help me place the cage off the hook and onto the ground. I believe any cult following the joker has a flame thrower lying around somewhere.”

 

The group stared at the two cultist who laid tied up in the corner, “In the walk in.”

 

The group set to work on laying the cage down as Damian sat on the ground, happy to no longer have to worry about being thrown around from the air atleast. But he still sulked. Afterall, he was Robin stuck in a cage. This is not how he wanted to spend the rest of his patrol.

 

“You know if we kept him in this then he couldn’t go run off and be kidnapped,” Drake told father as three of the vigilantes left to finish patrol. Grayson and Father stayed behind the weld off the lock. Father grunted but stared at the cage considerably.

 

“Father, you are not keeping me in a cage,” Damian stated.

 

“Of course not, son,” He sighed, “Now step back. I don’t want to burn you.”

  
  
  



End file.
